A Lesson in Love from Desperate Housewives

It's rarely advisable to take relationship advice from celebrities, television, movies... after all, these entities need drama in their relationships to survive. As a result, mass media has done everything from glamorizing affairs to painting unrealistic portraits of courtship and romance. When a show or movie focuses on a couple, that couple is rarely a healthy one. While I don't watch Desperate Housewives religiously, I've seen enough to know that half the story line is derived from romantic relationships. I've also seen enough to know that Lynette's speech in the series finale is one of the smartest, most relevant soliloquies television has ever been graced with.

Maybe it's so good because Felicity Huffman, the actress who plays Lynette, has been married to actor William H. Macy for the last fifteen years and understands the realities behind her words. Maybe it's just the message itself, because it is one of the few fundamental truths of human relationships. Feel free to watch above-- I'm breaking down the speech below.

"Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, because you realize: I finally have the thing I need to be happy."

Isn't it true, though? Whether you're in the midst of planning your wedding or had it long ago, any pair of significant others can recognize that this is the true meaning of a wedding ceremony. It's a celebration of love, not a day to get gifts, to be the center of attention, or to take beautiful pictures. Those things are just secondary, but in our haste to plan a wedding, we often forget it.

"And then you forget. So then, what happens is, instead of waking up every morning and shouting "Somebody loves me!", you start looking around and thinking, "What do I want now? What's the next thing I need to be happy?"

 Almost every last one of us is guilty of this: of taking our significant other, our beautiful love story, and the magic of being love for granted. Do you remember how you felt when your relationship started? How you felt like the luckiest person in the world, how you checked your phone first thing in the morning to make sure you didn't miss a thing? Think of how many people spend hours on dating sites, in bars, or even alone in their room, dreaming of finding someone who will love them. Do you realize how lucky you were to find such a person?

"So you look and you look, and you keep thinking you've found it and nothing works. And the reason that nothing works is because that hole in your heart that you're trying to fill... is already filled. You just forgot. Don't ever forget, always remember how much you wanted to be loved, and how much you are loved."

 I don't envy girls who have been steadily dating since their days in junior high. You start young, you can easily learn to take things for granted. I was sixteen when I started dating fiancé. He was my first boyfriend, my first love, and he suddenly ended nights of crying and loneliness that I had experienced for so long. I can't imagine going back to that place, so why do I let myself forget and take him for granted? Why do any of us?

"And I think if you can do that--and it isn't easy--you will stop looking and realize you already are happy."

Truer words have rarely been spoken on television. Bravo, Desperate Housewives.